How was your weekend?
I’ll be honest with you. I had a hard weekend. Travis lost his job on Thursday and we have just been feeling so down about it. It was a complete shock to Travis. He had no warning whatsoever that he would be cut from his job.
I think what makes it so hard for us (well, at least one big reason it makes it hard for us because there are so many other reasons that this hard) is that this is his second time losing a job in a 5-month period.
September 2017 – First Job Loss
In September 2017, he lost his job which he had been working at for over two years. The job loss came just a few weeks after I had the baby.
I remember the day it happened. Travis came home during lunchtime. When I saw him drive up, I was very confused. I thought maybe he was sick or he had injured himself at work. But as soon as I saw him walk up the sidewalk, I knew he had lost his job. He looked so broken and defeated.
I immediately went to the door to ask him what happened and he confirmed the dreaded feeling I had. We were both so heartbroken. Panic and worry began to take over me, but Travis assured me everything would be okay. He told me we would figure things out.
Two months later our prayers were answered and he was hired for a new job. We were both so overjoyed and relieved. I remember Travis’ mood was more cheerful and he didn’t look as weary as he did the months of his unemployment. With the new job, things were starting to look up for our family and we were getting back on our feet.
February 2018 – Second Job Loss
But on Thursday, Travis came home around lunchtime again. With thoughts racing through my mind, I looked out the window to see if I really saw him pull up to our home.
“Did he forget something? Is he not feeling well? What time is it because I know it’s not time for him to get off of work? Please don’t tell me…”
It was like experiencing déjà vu. I remained calm and stepped out onto the porch and asked him what was wrong. “I’m unemployed!” he said to me as he walked up the sidewalk. My heart sank. And he had that same defeated look on his face. My heart hurt so much for Travis.
He was let go because the company is “restructuring”. The plus side to this is he wasn’t fired and he will still have a good reference. The downside to losing his job is we have to start back over from square one and figure everything out again.
This is a new experience for us. Travis was in the military for 8.5 years before we moved to Michigan. He was offered a job three months before his contract ended with the Army. Going through job loss like this feels like a strange new world for us. We don’t like this feeling of uncertainty.
It’s okay to not be okay.
I think the day I found out Travis lost his job the reality of it hadn’t sunk in yet because, for the most part, I felt fine. I didn’t feel panicky. But the next day, I woke up feeling so sad. It almost felt like going through a bad breakup. I felt nauseous Friday and Saturday. I still mustered the energy to go with the kids to homeschool group on Friday, but on Saturday I canceled all of my plans and I stayed home and just cried throughout the day alone in my room.
I tried to pray about it, but I couldn’t get the words out. I just felt so defeated and hopeless. It feels like every time we try to get back on our feet, we get knocked down again.
By Sunday, though, I was feeling a little better. I realized if I feel down, then my husband must feel even worse. He’s the one who had to experience this, not me. And what I mean by that is, he’s the one who was let go from his job. He’s the one who woke up in the morning ready to start the day and didn’t have a clue that as soon as he’d clock in to work he’d be asked to step into an office and told face-to-face he was being let go. I didn’t experience that humiliation. He did. I didn’t have to pack my things up and walk out of my job, make the drive home, and face my family to deliver bad news. He did.
For better or for worse.
So I can’t make this all about me. Yes, it is hurtful to me and I have many worries about my husband’s job loss, but I have to also support Travis. We’re in this together– through the good times and the bad times.
And you know what? Things may feel a little hopeless and uncertain right now, but we’ll get through this together!
This morning, I was able to finally say the words I needed to for my prayer. It felt good to finally release my feelings and thoughts. I am trusting in God to get us through this hard time. I am also counting my blessings and finding joy in my life, my marriage, and my children.
Everything will work out.
Travis has great hope that everything will work out. He isn’t one to stay down for too long. He’s really good about not letting things bring him down. He’s a very optimistic person and his faith in God is strong. This is one of the many qualities I love about my husband. He is truly the yin to my yang, as the saying goes.
If you believe in the power of prayer, would you say a prayer for my family and me? I would greatly appreciate it. I had shared the news on my Instagram and I have received so many kind messages of encouragement and hope. I am very grateful for the kindness and prayers for my family.
Much love to everyone!