A pastor, a comedian, and a journalist walk into a movie theater. They sit down to discuss the age-old question: what do men want.
It sounds like an introduction to a corny, bar joke, doesn’t it? It’s actually three out of the six professions of the all-male panelists for Dr. Sabrina Jackson’s “Movie Night with Dr. Sabrina”. And yes– they really did discuss the topic of what men want.
MOVIE NIGHT WITH DR. SABRINA — WHAT MEN WANT
Last Thursday (February 7th), Travis and I attended Movie Night with Dr. Sabrina to hear the special discussion and watch the new comedy-romance flick What Men Want, starring Taraji P. Henson (Empire and Hidden Figures), Aldis Hodge (Leverage and Underground), and Tracy Morgan (SNL and 30 Rock).
If you’re not familiar with Dr. Sabrina Jackson, she is a relationship expert, family counselor, and motivational speaker based in Detroit.
She also is the creator of Essential Colors and the host of “The Essentially Sabrina Show” on 910 AM. You may have also seen Dr. Sabrina as a recurring guest host for the “People 911 with Dr. Sabrina” on Detroit’s FOX 2 News.
Every three months, Dr. Sabrina hosts her movie night events at a Detroit movie theater. For a reasonable price, guests can get a ticket to a movie plus popcorn and a drink. About an hour before the movie, there is usually a guest panel that discusses a special topic related to the movie.
“Dr. Sabrina’s Movie Night” events are not only fun and interactive, but the funds also support a great cause. For instance, the proceeds from the What Men Want event benefited Sabrina’s Girls and Sanders Educational Development Corporation.
You can purchase tickets to the What Men Want film by clicking here!
SPECIAL GUESTS ON THE PANEL:
Willie Mac, Jr. — Rapper & Founder of Crawford Real Estate & Development
Pastor Eric Cedo — Lead Pastor of Family Christian Center
Tirrell McCoy — Comedian, Good Medicine Entertainment
Lee Thomas — Broadcast Journalist, FOX 2
Dr. Sabrina Jackson, Relationship Expert
“We don’t ask our real questions because we’re afraid of the real answers. It’s almost like, remember [the movie] A Few Good Men? He says you can’t handle the truth. You say you want the truth but you can’t handle [it].”
ALL-MALE PANELISTS DISH ON WHAT MEN WANT
Guests, who were mostly female, asked the panelists questions on dating, marriage, relationships, and sex.
THE MEN DIDN’T HOLD BACK! They were very honest with their personal beliefs and kept it real. Here are a few topics that were discussed:
WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO GET TO KNOW A PERSON BEFORE MAKING A COMMITMENT
Bishop Greg Davis discussed the importance of getting to know a person while dating. He gave the example of collecting data. “Your dating is called data,” he told the audience.
The pastor explained collecting data is when you are gathering information about the person you are getting to know. Based on the information you learn about the person, you can then determine if he is the right one for you.
“You can’t fall in love overnight or infatuated,” Bishop Davis said. “Because you have to be willing to say it just ain’t working.”
DOES PHYSICAL ATTRACTION PLAY A ROLE IN INFIDELITY?
Comedian Tirrell McCoy also kept it real with the group and shared his thoughts on dating, marriage, and infidelity. “Let me tell you why a lot of guys are stepping out,” Tirrell said to the audience. The group was discussing physical attraction and if men stray from their relationships because they no longer feel attracted to their partner.
Tirrell said he believes a man could be in love with his partner’s mind but also in love with another woman’s body. “And that’s the straight-up truth,” he explained.
He went on to say a man may choose to cheat on his partner because he is looking for physical fulfillment and not an emotional connection. Tirrell explained a man can still have an emotional connection with his partner, but seek physical fulfillment outside of the relationship.
DO MEN FOCUS ON OUTWARD APPEARANCE BECAUSE THEY ARE INSECURE?
Pastor Eric brought up a good point about men who can be vain and place a heavy emphasis on their partner’s outward appearance. “Pastors can keep it really real,” Pastor Eric told the audience.
Giving a hypothetical scenario, he continued, “I’m insecure about myself. I want all my guy friends, all my buddies, to think that I’m important. So I want my wife to look good because it makes me look good.”
He went on to say, “Guys need a woman to look good to stroke their bruised ego because they’re not confident within themselves.”
WHAT MILLENNIAL MEN WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP
I appreciated the diversity in age of the panelists because I felt it was important to get feedback from each age group. For instance, Willie Mac, Jr. and Andre Ash were the youngest of the group– the millennials. The insight the two men shared demonstrated how men in their 20s are thinking about relationships and trying to also maintain their identity.
For instance, when Dr. Sabrina asked, “What is it that men want today that is different from 20 years ago?”, Andre shared his thoughts from a millennial’s perspective.
He believes what has changed within the last twenty years is men want freedom and space. “I want a committed relationship to a woman that I love… but I also want a little bit of some me time and some space,” Andre told the group. He went on to say he didn’t mind being in a relationship, but he also wanted freedom and flexibility to explore options.
Willie Mac, Jr. shared what he is looking for in a relationship is compatibility. Creidting his parents’ marriage as a great influence on how he views relationships, Willie said growing up he saw two people who loved each other very much and who worked hard to make their marriage work.
Observing his parents love and committment to one another, Willie learned compatibility is very importnat in a relationship. “When y’all been together for years, those things that you may have overlooked before [may] become serious issues,” Willie explained.
“I’m looking mostly for compatibility where we share the same goals and ideas and we can make it work when it gets tough because it’s going to get tough.”
WHAT MEN WANT IN A MARRIAGE
Tirrel and Pastor Eric were the only two men of the group who were married. Both men shared their perspectives of what men want from their spouse and what they believe their role is as a husband.
Married for 22 years to his wife, Pastor Eric believes it’s important for your spouse to have your back. He also discussed the meaning of love, saying real love is when you are there for your partner despite their imperfections.
The pastor also raised a good point about changing the question from “what do men want” to “what do men need”.
“There’s a conflict between what men want and what men need,” Pastor Eric said. “I think one of the things we have to address right away on this is it’s almost the wrong question ‘what do men want’. The question is what do men need?”
Antirrell, who has been married to his wife for 15 years, was on point when he explained why men and women should have each other’s back when they’re in a marriage.
“As for me, what I want in my life is somebody that knows my insecurities and don’t use it to their advantage, you know. I want somebody that knows my hiccups and don’t expose them. I need somebody that’s going to cover me.”
WHAT MEN WANT AT AGE 35 AND BEYOND
Lee Thomas and Bishop Davis shared insight that helped women understand how men in their mid 30s and beyond are possibly approaching dating and relationships.
Bishop Greg Davis on what he’d tell himself at age 28:
“I believe that I can have both the need and
thewant… because I was once young and now I’m older, what I wanted at 28, I wish I could take my 56 self back to 28 and say ‘that ain’t really what you should have wanted’.
And on what he needs now:
“What I need now– I know it’s going to sound corny– somebody to love me.”
Lee Thomas on if things have changed within the last 20 years:
“I don’t know if it’s changed. Maybe technology has changed. Maybe the information has come quicker, but I don’t think what I wanted 20 years ago is different from what I want today. It’s really simple: I want
trust. I want honesty. I want the truth. I want a commitment. I want somebody who’s going to have my back a hundred times and a hundred times more because that’s what I’ll have for them. If those are the things you have to offer, then I have them to give back. It seems like that’s simple, but it’s not as simple as it seems.”
It was refreshing to hear the men say getting to know someone on a deeper level was important to them just as it is for women. Some even commented they would prefer to get to know a woman before having sex with her.
A member of the audience shared before marrying her husband, the couple abstained from sex until they were married. For her, she wanted to focus on the relationship and not let physical intimacy become a distraction.
Another woman commented she would prefer to establish a friendship first before making a commitment to a man. As more women shared their dating and relationship experiences, the panelists gave the ladies feedback to their comments and questions.
ASKING MY HUSBAND WHAT HE THINKS MEN WANT
The special discussion was a great way to set the mood for the movie. I was ready to see what topics were going to be discussed in the film and what Taraji P. Henson’s character would learn from her ability to hear men’s thoughts.
I won’t GIVE away any spoilers from the movie, but I will say this: I think the film shows how men are not as complex as we may think they are, ladies. Perhaps what men want is very similar to what we want in a
After the special event, I was curious to know what Travis’ thoughts were about what the panelists said. He told me he felt everyone pretty much got it right.
“The most important thing for a man to receive is love, respect, and support,” he told me as we were driving home. “With those things, a man can get through anything.”
What do you think, ladies? What do you think men want?
Special thanks to Dr. Sabrina Jackson for inviting Good Life Detroit to “Movie Night with Dr. Sabrina”! For more information about Dr. Sabrina, you can visit her website here and follow her on Instagram here.
28 DAYS COUPLE’S NIGHT OUT
On Thursday, February 28, 2019, Dr. Sabrina will host a couple’s night out at the LePetit De’ Jereuner in Detroit.
Here are the event details if you’d like to attend:
WHEN: Thursday, 2/28 from 7 P.M. to 10 P.M.
WHERE: 6470 East Jefferson Ave., Detroit
WHAT: The evening will include an Essential Love Styles activity with Dr. Sabrina Jackson, an acoustic guitarist, singer ZanYe, and comedian Antirrel McCoy. Your tickets include all entertainment and a meal.
PRICE: $50 per couple