It’s been a little quiet around here lately. I had been feeling a little down and my anxiety was high so I decided it was best to take some time off for myself.

It turned out the two weeks off was just what I needed to regroup and feel refreshed

A combination of things had me feeling blue– recent events with this summer’s Black Lives Matter movement, more tragic deaths of African Americans from police brutality, and just feeling overwhelmed with social media chatter.

I had received a few messages from people I didn’t know very well who were “checking on me” after George Floyd’s murder and the protests around the country started. I honestly didn’t know how to feel at first because it caught me off guard. I’ve never received messages like that before. I’m sure the intention was sincere, but at first, it made me feel a little uncomfortable. 

Don’t get me wrong– there’s nothing wrong with checking in on a person you don’t know. I think it’s a great way to show someone you care, and I do appreciate it when others show me their kindness and support.

It’s just taking into consideration this particular issue, everything felt very confusing and overwhelming all at once. (And I’m still trying to process what has happened.)

So, I had to unplug for a little bit.

THEN SOMETHING UNEXPECTED HAPPENED IN MY PERSONAL LIFE

My break gave me time to reflect and rest. I was also able to take some time to think about how others who have shown support were truly trying to offer their kindness and understanding.

Many were trying to listen and I realized it was a great opportunity to grow together.

I was only going to take a week off, but then I had something unexpected happen in my personal life.

My former midwife ended her medical care services as my healthcare provider. At 8 months pregnant. During a pandemic.

It really knocked me down and I was feeling very low. It has been extremely difficult trying to process the neglect in healthcare and how I’m going to be able to find a provider I can trust and who will even accept me as a patient this late in my pregnancy.

And to be honest– I’m terrified.

So, as you can see, everything has been feeling upside down…and scary.

Monday Motivation: Check on Your Friends

Travis has been my rock during this time and always gives me his shoulder to cry on when I need it. Whenever I want to talk about how I’m feeling or just vent, he takes the time to listen to me. I don’t know what I’d do without him. 

I’m also very thankful for my mom who has taken the time to listen when I need to talk and offer caring advice. 

I had a few friends also notice my quiet mood. They reached out and texted me to simply say they were thinking of me and wanted to know if I was okay. 

I don’t usually share with others when I am feeling down. But when friends noticed my quiet mood, it really meant a lot to me that they wanted to show their love and support. It made me feel less alone and more supported. 

The old saying is true, “You never know what a person is going through.”

We all experience hard times or go through a period of feeling down. Not everyone feels comfortable sharing they are going through a depression or they’re just having a bad day.

That’s why it’s important we show kindness and love to one another. Our kind words or even a smile can brighten someone else’s day. 

It’s not weird to send a friend a message or call them on the phone to just say, “I was thinking of you and I wanted you to know I’m here if you need me.”

It lets our loved ones know we care about them, and you support them. 

During my time off, I was able to reflect and rest. I was also able to take time and think about how others who have shown support were truly trying to offer their kindness and understand. Many were trying to listen and I realized it was a great opportunity to grow together.

NINE WAYS YOU CAN CHECK ON YOUR FRIENDS:

Practice mindful listening when your friend is sharing how they are feeling.

Send an encouraging text.

Give your friend a call on the phone.

Mail a greeting card.

Schedule a time to meet for coffee or lunch. (If you’re practicing social distancing or live far away from your friend, then you can send them a gift card to their favorite cafe or restaurant.)

Have flowers delivered or leave flowers on their porch.

Offer to help with any daunting tasks like household chores, yard work, or have groceries delivered to them.

Send them a care package of their favorite things (beauty/skincare products, favorite treats, herbal tea or good coffee, a cool book, etc.)

Simply ask how you can help. This is a great way to find out exactly what your friend needs.

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.”

― Rumi

Strong people need love and care, too, and a thoughtful gesture can go a long way.

But also, sometimes people just want someone to listen to them. (In fact, a few days after the midwife ended my healthcare service, I immediately connected with a therapist to help me with coping and finding my path to healing.)

Talking to a trusted friend (or therapist) who listens mindfully can help process emotions and sort through their thoughts. I know it’s helping me, and I am so grateful!

When we show up for our loved ones, it can truly make a huge difference in their life. So please, don’t forget to check on your friends, even the strong ones! 


Feature image courtesy of Warner Bros. Entertainment. Living Single (1993) cast Erika Alexander, Queen Latifah, Kim Fields, and Kim Cole. 

Written by

Jennifer Hamra

Freelance creative Jennifer Hamra created her blog Good Life Detroit in 2015 after relocating from Tennessee to Southeast Michigan.

Inspired by her love for personal blogging and photography, Jennifer likes to share her favorite Detroit things, from cool places to visit (the hidden gems are her favorite!) to the amazing people she has connected with over the years.

When she's not busy juggling family life and her creative projects, you can find her at an art gallery, community event, farmers market, or spending quiet time at home with a good book and cup of tea.

Jennifer lives in the metro Detroit area with her husband Travis and their six children.

Connect with Jennifer on social media @goodlifedetroit on all social media platforms or via email at [email protected].