Life lately in the newborn stage has consisted of…

letting the kids play video games a little longer than usual, 

venturing to the park when we’re not too tired, 

binge-watching movies and TV shows, 

watching a bunch of Instagram Stories and YouTube videos just to stay awake in the middle of the night so I can nurse the baby,

messy mom buns and upside down pineapple hairstyles, 

taking a million and one pictures of Zaya,

giving her a thousand kisses,

changing a too many poopy diapers, 

piles of laundry both clean and dirty, 

trying to focus on just one thought, 

taking a lot of quick naps in random places, 

freezer meals, 

ordering pizza because we’re over the freezer meals,

eating M&Ms for lunch, 

also always feeling hungry,

speed-eating my dinner in less than five minutes before the baby cries again,  

forgetfulness (seriously what day is it again?), 

grumpiness, 

dreading car rides because baby hates the car seat and will cry and cry,

constantly telling the little kids to: “Shh! Shh! Please talk in your quiet voice” so they don’t wake the baby who will only nap for 20 minutes,

breastfeeding a newborn every.single.hour during the day,

hoping today will be the day I get to take a shower and wash my hair, 

wondering when I’ll feel normal again, 

randomly crying because I’m sleep deprived and having trouble focusing sometimes,

retelling my birth story over and over,

bending the rules for the kids just so I can get through these newborn days,

making sure I’m spending quality time with all of children because I don’t want them to feel left out now that the new baby is here,

homeschooling in my bedroom and keeping a light school schedule,

feeling awkward wearing regular clothes again,

thinking I can accomplish everything on my to-do list when I’m lucky if I can check just one task off the list (what was I thinking?!),

loving watching my baby sleep and smiling thinking about how much I love her but as soon she stirs panicking because I’m not ready for her to wake up just yet! 

One month with Zaya and it’s been a mix of emotions, sleep deprivation, and just doing the best we can. She’s the sweetest baby and I love her so much, but I’m not going to lie. Newborn life is tough, no matter how many times I’ve done this.

I know it will get easier as Zaya grows. I had shared on an Instagram post that the milestones hit a little differently in the newborn stage when you’re on your sixth kid. When the older ones turned one month, two months, and so on, I’d feel weepy about it.

Yet, with my younger kids, once they reached the same milestones, I felt happy because that meant I would get to sleep a little longer and there’d be fewer poopy diapers to change! 

But always, no matter what, I love my babies and I do enjoy spending precious time with them. I am taking time to find joy each day while Zaya is a newborn. I just really miss sleeping, ya know?

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