Three Detroit Moms Share Their Thoughts on Breastfeeding

I was thinking about a few things while I was at the Black Breastfeeding Summit at the Charles H. Wright African American Museum in Detroit: So now that National Breastfeeding Month has come to an end, what happens now? What have I learned from this experience? And how can others continue to celebrate and support breastfeeding moms?

During the August summit, I talked with three amazing breastfeeding moms: Tiffany, Alicia, and Kamisha. I asked them about their breastfeeding journey, and they shared with me their experiences and how they feel women should be supported.


1. Check on breastfeeding mothers during the postpartum period.

Tiffany is a first-time mom of a 6-month-old baby boy. Tiffany said she believes the first three weeks after a mom gives birth is when a mom needs strong support for breastfeeding “because it’s so hard.”

After giving birth to a baby, there is so much going on. Tiffany pointed out during those first few weeks of postpartum, she experienced challenges such as being tired and recovering from the birth of her baby.

Thankfully, she had the loving support of her husband during her recovery period, but she would have liked to have had additional support for breastfeeding.

When a mom has strong support during her postpartum time, the chances of her continuing to breastfeed her baby for a longer period of time are much greater.

2. Encourage breastfeeding mothers to embrace the journey.

It’s true. Breastfeeding is challenging, especially if you’re a first-time mom like Tiffany, or you’re a seasoned mom but are new to breastfeeding. Alicia, for instance, is a mother of 5 children and a newborn baby. She is breastfeeding for the first time.

Alicia told me a nurse had encouraged her to breastfeed. I asked her how her breastfeeding journey is going so far and she said it’s, “touch and go…[with] some good days, some not so good days,” but she is “enjoying it now because we’re learning together.”

And I think that is important to know about breastfeeding. It can be very challenging and it is a journey where you and your baby are learning together. If a breastfeeding mom understands breastfeeding is a learning experience, she will be able to keep an open mind and embrace the ups and downs.

Three Breastfeeding Moms Share Six Breastfeeding Tips
Photo of me nursing my baby Zephaniah.

3. Be honest with breastfeeding mothers about the challenges.

From my experience, I have seen more people focus on the good things about breastfeeding. This is great, but there still needs to be more discussion about the challenges of breastfeeding. I think if more women are aware of the realities of breastfeeding, they will be better prepared for it and be more inclined to stick with it.

For instance, when I breastfed my daughter Zhen (2012), I could only get her to latch onto one side. So I would pump on the other side and feed her the pumped breast milk by bottle. After a while, it became frustrating for me and I felt like a failure. I thought I was doing something wrong.

Sadly, instead of sticking with it, I gave up nursing my baby after three months. I didn’t know that it’s normal to experience such challenges. I thought it was something I was doing or maybe my daughter just didn’t like being breastfed.

I, also, didn’t trust seeking help from a lactation consultant because of a bad experience I had with a consultant the first time I inquired about the issue I was having. The consultant I saw was too rough with my baby and made me feel very uncomfortable. She also spoke down to me. This discouraged me from seeking additional support. Perhaps if I would have understood the challenges, I would have breastfed Zhen longer.

Three Breastfeeding Moms Share Breastfeeding Tips
“I use any opportunity I can to educate them” to understand “breastfeeding is beneficial to babies and mom and family.” -Kamisha, Breastfeeding Advocate and Mom

4. Do not shame breastfeeding mothers who choose to publicly nurse their babies.

Kamisha, mom of six and a 2-month-old baby, shared with me a negative experience she had at a doctor’s appointment.

While waiting in the medical room, she was breastfeeding her baby uncovered. A medical assistant saw Kamisha nursing her baby, “and the medical assistant came and said, ‘Oh my God!’ She swung the curtain around and then slammed the door.”

I asked Kamisha what did she do and she told me, “I let her know she was rude and…inappropriate. I don’t understand why she was offended.”

Kamisha is also a breastfeeding advocate and peer counselor. She believes people who are against public breastfeeding need to understand breastfeeding is normal and is nourishment to a baby.  

She said, “I use any opportunity I can to educate them.” Kamisha believes if more people understood why “breastfeeding is beneficial to babies and mom and family, “then they would not have an issue with women who nurse in public.

Unfortunately, many breastfeeding moms experience such negativity when they are nursing their babies in public. Some mothers are asked to go to the bathroom and nurse their babies. I had a similar experience when I needed to feed my baby in a public place in Downtown Detroit, which leads me to my fifth point.

Three Breastfeeding Moms Share Breastfeeding Tips
I am a BIG supporter of breastfeeding moms because I am a breastfeeding mom, too!

5. Offer a private room for breastfeeding mothers who wish to seek privacy.

A few months ago, I was at an event in Detroit and I asked about a nursing room for breastfeeding moms because I needed to feed my baby. I was told I could feed him in the family bathroom.

The family bathroom did not have a chair or a separate room without a toilet in it. The family bathroom was just a large-sized bathroom, and if I would have used it to feed him, I would have had to sit on the toilet. So instead, I used a cover to cover myself and I sat in a hallway near the bathrooms.

When I was offered the restroom as an option to feed my baby, I felt very insulted. Would you eat your lunch or dinner sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom?

If a private room were available for breastfeeding moms, it would have been more comfortable for me to feed my baby. I would not have had to sit in a hallway near the bathroom. Some moms, like myself, prefer to nurse their babies in a private, quiet setting. It makes feeding time less stressful, which then allows for better milk flow.

When a mom is feeling stressed, sometimes it can slow milk production during feeding time. I know that was my experience: if I felt stressed, I didn’t produce as much milk.

If more businesses and public places offered private rooms for nursing mothers, then moms would not have to feed their babies in awkward places.

Buy Buy Baby, for instance,  has a mother’s room for breastfeeding moms. I have used it before and I was very impressed with the nursing room. It was a comfortable size with two rocking chairs and a changing table. I felt very comfortable feeding my baby in Buy Buy Baby.

6. Just be like Target! Support public breastfeeding.

Some moms are very comfortable with breastfeeding their baby in public. For these moms, they should be respected for their choice to nurse in public and they should not be shamed. AT ALL.

I wish more businesses would follow Target’s example and become for breastfeeding-friendly to mothers and babies. I found this article which shared Target’s breastfeeding policy from its employee handbook.

Target’s employee handbook states:

Guests may openly breastfeed in our stores or ask where they can go to breastfeed their child. When this happens, remember these points:

Target’s policy supports breastfeeding in any area of our stores, including our fitting rooms, even if others are waiting

If you see a guest breastfeeding in our stores, do not approach her

If she approaches and asks you for a location to breastfeed, offer the fitting room (do not offer the restroom as an option)

National Breastfeeding Month may be over, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t more work to be done. Many people still need to be educated about breastfeeding and the benefits of breastfeeding babies. And women still need the support– our support!

Breastfeeding moms need support not just from family and friends, but also from other businesses, organizations, and the general public. The more we support breastfeeding mothers, the more women will choose to breastfeed and also breastfeed for a longer period of time.

Special thanks to Tiffany, Alicia, and Kamisha for sharing their breastfeeding experiences with me at the Black Breastfeeding Summit! I enjoyed talking with you and wish you the best on your breastfeeding journey!


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This post was updated on 10/18/2020. All photographs are courtesy of Jennifer Hamra for Good Life Detroit.

25 thoughts on “Three Detroit Moms Share Their Thoughts on Breastfeeding

  1. Great points here. With my first child, I found myself pumping in several awkward public places, including a restroom at Cobo Hall! Sometimes it feels like there are few options for those of us who are simply trying to keep up with feeding our little ones, and generating more awareness can really help. Thanks for this thoughtful article.

    1. Hi, Carolyn! I, too, had to pump in a bathroom at the Cobo Center!! I had called ahead of time to see if there was a mother’s room, and I was told I could nurse my baby in the family restroom. But it wasn’t an actual room or anywhere to sit. I was really frustrated and embarrassed. I agree with you– generating more awareness for supporting breastfeeding moms will really help change things!

    1. Thanks, Catherine! I agree with you about rallying around BF’n moms when they go back to work. I think that moms who pump should also have an extended break time which is separate from their lunch hour. When I was pumping a few months ago, I had to pump every 3 hours. It’s really tough. Thanks for sharing your article with me. I hope to read it soon!

  2. LOVE this!!! Breastfeeding is already soooo hard. I remember how tough it was to get my son to latch in the early months, I honestly cannot imagine if someone would’ve started yelling at me out in public when I was just trying to feed my son.
    Those first few weeks can truly leave you feeling like a failure, and support is absolutely vital in them. I looooove that you’re talking about such an important topic! Thanks for sharing <3

    1. Thank you so much, Naya! I learned from experience, too, that breastfeeding is challenge. I, too, was inspired (and I still am) by connecting with other moms.

  3. This is a great list! I am so glad that I had a lot of help and support on my first breastfeeding journey. It was really tough, but I stuck with it!
    I also think it’s important to remind Mom’s that breast feeding is the best thing for their baby. I know that we have formula advertisements and that we never want to shame anyone for their choices…but sometimes people honestly just aren’t informed about how amazing breastfeeding is for the baby (and the mother, too!). I would never shame a Mom who honestly can’t breastfeed, but I think that we need to make an effort to tell mother’s that breastfeeding is hard work…and they can and should do it, even when it is inconvenient.

    1. Hi, Suzanne! I know how you feel. Breastfeeding was tough for me, too. Even though I breastfed for nine months, I am still so proud of myself for hanging in there for the length of time that I did. It makes me feel good to know I helped my baby. And you’re right, some moms are not able to breastfeed for various reasons. I had this issue with my second baby. Moms who use formula should certainly be supported, too. 🙂

  4. Jennifer, I love this so much! I was actually a breast-feeding peer counselor for WIC until a few months ago and this is something I feel so strongly about! I too was hoping to share some thoughts during world breast-feeding month but circumstances did not allow. However, I know how important it is for the information to continue to get to all mothers, at any time, and this encourages me to do just that! I will be sharing this!

    1. Thank you, Patricia! That is so great you were a peer counselor at WIC! I didn’t even know they had peer counselors there. Did you love the experience?
      And I was thinking of posting this during Breastfeeding Month, but I thought it would be good to share afterwards to let others know it needs to be an ongoing conversation so we can continue to support other mamas! 🙂 Thank you for sharing, too!!

  5. As a BFing mama of two, I loved everything about this post! I especially want to support breastfeeding in public! I don’t get the stigma behind it all!!! My babies need to eat!

    1. I’m with you! I would love to see more people and organizations support breastfeeding in public, too. I never understood why people had an issue with it. It’s completely natural.

  6. I love this post! As a mother who was unable to breastfeed (and desperately wanted too!) I totally respect women who can and are able to push through what sometimes can be many obstacles!

    1. I can relate to not being able to breastfeed. I had trouble nursing with my 2nd baby. With my 4th baby, we made it to 9 months of breastfeeding. I agree with you, I respect women who are able to breastfeed and who can do it for a long time! 🙂 Thank you!

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