I hesitated to write this post because it’s a very personal topic for me. I wanted to discuss my experiences with going to therapy, but it frightened me to open up about it on my blog. I had this fear of being judged or that I just couldn’t put all of my thoughts together.
Well, actually, I still have these fears, but I feel so strongly that it’s important I do share a portion of my story because I want other moms and women to know it’s okay to feel the way you’re feeling. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes.
And it’s okay to seek support to help you heal and push through those hard moments.
I think we can all agree 2020, for the most part, has been a tough year. It seems like there’s always bad news being shared in the media on social platforms. I’ve been trying my hardest to focus on the joys in my life and stay positive, but sometimes these tough moments become very overwhelming for me.
Throw in the mix of the pandemic, worrying about finances (because of the impact of COVID), and tense social justice issues– I have also been having a challenging time with my pregnancy. Nothing health-related, thank goodness, but I’ve been having a difficult time finding a supportive provider for my third trimester. Because of this, my anxiety has been high and I’ve been feeling really down about it.
So three weeks ago, I made a big decision to start going to therapy to help me with my high anxiety and get through this mild depression. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for the majority of my adult life so I recognize the signs of when something is going to be a trigger for me. I didn’t want to fall into a dark place or let the high stress have a negative impact on the remainder of my pregnancy.
I put a lot of thought into my decision and decided the first thing I needed to do was find someone I could talk to about how I’ve been feeling. I told Travis, “I think I’m going to find a therapist to help me get through this.” He was very supportive and said he thought it was a good idea.
It was a very bold move for me to make for myself because in the past I would say I would do it, but then I wouldn’t follow through. I said it was because I was too busy with the kids, homeschooling, and work… but really I think it was because I was scared.
Just three weeks of therapy has helped me in tremendous ways. I don’t feel scared anymore. I feel empowered. I feel in control. I feel like I’m healing. And I feel proud of myself for taking this big step and taking care of my well-being.
Do I still have hard days? Sometimes, but I feel like the tools my therapist has given me are helping me manage those hard days (i.e. breathing techniques, going for a walk, or writing in my journal).
Do I still have the same issues that have been causing me great anxiety? Unfortunately, yes, but with my therapist’s help, I am learning how to stay focused on the things I can control and take care of myself on the good days and the bad days.
I have learned so many important life lessons from my therapy sessions and I am looking forward to continue to grow and walk confidently in my truth.
HELPFUL THERAPY LINKS
If you are looking for a supportive therapist or encouraging people to guide you on your journey, then here is a list of helpful links I found for you.
- Black Female Therapists
- Therapy for Black Girls
- LGBTQ Psychotherapists of Color
- Therapy for Women
- The Nap Ministry
- “4 Need-To-Know Tips for Black Women Seeking Therapy”
- Black Mental Wellness, Corp
- “How to Find a Black Therapist Virtually”
- Find a Women’s Issues Therapist
Are there any therapy links you would add to the list? Let me know in the comments below!
“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”— Maya Angelou
Remember to take good care of yourself and your mental health. Finding a therapist who you trust can help you with any life challenges you may be facing.
Hope you have a peaceful week! xoxo
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All photographs are courtesy of Jennifer Hamra for Good Life Detroit. Photo location Eastern Market, Detroit.